Are they growing up too fast?

July 30, 2008

Like it or not, our children are growing up in a far more sophisticated and complex world than we did. This has its advantages. They will have more opportunities and choices than you ever had. However, it can create problems too.Here’s what to do if your child seems too ‘old’ for their age:

1. Set a good example

You and your partner will be your child’s first role models, the people they admire the most. If your main interests are lipstick and mini skirts, don’t be surprised if your daughter’s are too. If you’re a smokers or drinker your child will see that as normal. Showing them to much will think its ok for them to do the same.

Tip: Girly conversations about make up and clothes are fine. But make sure they aren’t all you talk about. They need to know that other, more important things, interest you too.

2. Be realistic

Kids have always wanted to dress and look older. So don’t fret if your child is pestering you for trendy ‘teenage’ clothes when they’re only nine. But use your common sense. There’s a world of difference between looking fashionable and looking like a Bratz doll or a gangster rapper with loads of bling. They may not understand the subtleties, but you do, so be firm.

Tip: Don’t wait until your daughter’s found the micro mini and matching crop top of her dreams and is beggjng you to buy it. This will only lead to tears and tantrums. Instead, plan the shopping expedition in advance. Look at catalogues and fashion magazines together and make sure your child understands and accepts your rules.

3. Be patient

Your child is bound to be more worldy-wise than you were. Sex is everywhere these days. It’s on TV, in music and videos and it’s used to sell everything from chocolate to spot creams. Our children are known as the ‘growing older, younger’ generation by ad agencies so it’s hardly surprising they want perfume and aftershave rather than Lego. Peer pressure has a big impact on them too, so if all their mates are ‘dating’, they’ll want to as well.

Puberty seems to be starting earlier, it’s not unusual for a girl to start her periods while she’s still in primary school, so your child may be starting to have sexual feelings far earlier than you or your partner did. Reassure them that those feelings are all part of growing up. But no matter how adult they appear, they are still a child and should be treated as one.

Tip: Stay calm. Boost your child’s confidence by complimenting them, not only on their looks, but also on their character and intelligence. Ignore what you can of more immature, attention-seeking behaviour.