Do you trust me?
June 27, 2008
In a relationship, trust is considered to be very important to many people. However, I feel this word has been thrown around too much and its true meaning has not been thought about. It is not as simple as saying, “do you trust them?” and, in my opinion, it certainly doesn’t have a yes or no answer. First of all, what type of trust are we talking about.
Answer these questions about an important person in your life. Does each question have the same answer?
Do you trust them to be faithful?
Would you trust them looking after your child/mother/pet?
Would you trust them with your bank details?
Would you trust them to cook you a dinner?
Would you trust them enough to give back a library book for you?
Do you see how much this one word covers? I have another question for you now.
How would you react if this person didn’t give the library book back? Would it be that big of a deal, even though they broke your trust? Now how about if they cheated on you?
This is why I don’t think trust should be an issue in relationships. I think it should be more important to have hope and faith in your partner than “trust.” It may be a cynical approach perhaps to say you don’t trust your partner, but I think it is more realistic. I would rather say I have hope and faith in a person than I trust them, and I think it has more meaning.
Another reason I don’t like this word trust is because people rely to much on it, in the belief that if they trust a person they won’t be hurt, as if it puts some barrier around the person and stops them being unfaithful.
If you have hope in someone, it leaves room for both positivity and negativity. For example, I hope one day to win the lottery, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t be heartbroken as I know the chances. (I am aware of this example being a little drastic and not entirely related, I’m just trying to explain)
Instead of thinking about trust in your relationship, think of it more as hope and faith. Don’t concentrate so much on trust, too much focus is put on it, and you be thinking about other things. Attraction, love, passion, companionship and enjoying every moment spend with that person.
I’ll trust you will give this a go. At least I hope you do.
(4 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
Loading ...Written by le soleil rose · Filed Under Sex and Relationships |
I found the following steps in my relationship to be helpful to trust my partner more than I would have(I read this is some book which I cannot remember the name, but I hope these steps will help others for a fruitful relationship):
Let go of the past.
Tune into your current situation and allow yourself to move on from those old hurts. This may require acknowledging the ways that the past comes up for you in the present. Breathe and remind yourself to let go of the past and focus on what’s currently going on.
Be yourself.
Sometimes we hide habits, tendencies, even desires that are important to us because we don’t trust that our partner will approve of them. We undercut intimacy by keeping this barrier up to hide what we think won’t be loved. In effect, we don’t feel lovable as our true selves. Make it a goal to appreciate yourself and then allow every part of you to be seen by your partner.
Chances are your partner will be more accepting than you think.
Listen and understand.
Communicating is vital, it is also important to anyone wanting to increase intimacy in a love relationship. When situations come up that challenge your trust in the other person, stop and ask him or her questions about what appears to be happening. It is likely that your perceptions are not accurate. Listen with an open heart and allow yourself to understand what is going on for the other person.
i think you kinda missed the point of the article Janet, I think the point was to worry/focus on trust, wasnt it?
oops i mean wasn’t… perhaps i need to go back to school!